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        %REFLEXIVE OBJECTIVE KEY CONCEPTS ATTITUDES 880819

     The key concepts and attitudes which are essential to
coping  in one kind of situation are not  necessarily  the
key  concepts and attitudes which are essential to  coping
in a different kind of situation.  It is dangerous to have
the  attitude  that one set of concepts and  attitudes  is
essential to coping in all different kinds of  situations.
Such  an attitude will exclude from consciousness the  key
concepts  and  attitudes which are essential to coping  in
situations for which the compulsively chosen concepts  and
attitudes are inappropriate.

     Emotionally  immature  people who lack a mature  self
respect often try to mask their low self esteem with  airs
of  false self confidence.  If they are not familiar  with
real  people  and  how to relate intimately  in  open  and
honest  dialogue,  they are likely to place a mask between
themselves  and others.  They do not want to be discovered
and  known  personally,  for they fear that what might  be
discovered will not be respected/affirmed.  They prefer to
be  treated superficially so that their masks will not  be
penetrated.

     Emotionally immature people are not familiar with the
concepts  and attitudes which are essential to  coping  in
intimate  personal situations.  They often take refuge  in
objective  relationships which are free of the threats  of
intimate  personal discovery.  In such relationships among
themselves they can generate virtually unanimous consensus
regarding  the  nature  of the realities  which  they  are
willing to consider. In such unanimous consensus they find
comfort   which  they  have  not  discovered  in  intimate
personal relationships. They often specialize in the kinds
of relationships in which they can find the security which
they  have not known in intimate  personal  relationships;
they become scientists, technicians, narrow specialists---
and often become alienated technocrats who feel a need  to
be  in  control of something or somebody to bolster  their
sagging self esteem.

     Over  specialization  often leads people  to  exclude
from   consideration  concepts  and  attitudes  which  are
essential to coping in unfamiliar situations.  They try to
cope  in  unfamiliar  situations  with  the  concepts  and
attitudes   with   which   they   are   familiar   through
specialization; to the exclusion of concepts and attitudes
which  other non-specialists have found to be essential in
situations  which  are  unfamiliar  to  the   specialists.
Specialists are often unable to learn from non-specialists
who are familiar with appropriate concepts and  attitudes.
Specialists  who  bolster  their low self  esteem  by  the
attitude  that they are better then other people by virtue
of   their  specialization,   become  imprisoned  by  that
attitude, and reject the keys with which they could unlock
and open their prison doors.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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