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           %CONTROLLING LOVE ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR GOD 880225

     Addicts try to control love and its expressions.  God
is  Love  and will not be controlled.   Those who  try  to
control love will  fail in their efforts and will not know
love.   Love is not a goal  which  can be achieved through
efforts to be in control.    Love  is not achieved through
any kind  of perfection.    Addicts  try to be in control,
including trying to be in control of love.   As is usually
the  case  for addictive behavior,  the efforts to control
love fail; but they are made to appear to be successful.

     Addictive behavior is deceptive behavior.  Failure is
made  to  look  like  some  kind  of  success.    Hopeless
situations  are  dressed up to look  hopeful.    Confusing
situations  are  made to look normal.   Efforts to  be  in
control  of  love are made to look respectable  and  worth
while by confusing the difference between manipulation and
love;   e.g.,   manipulative  paternalism is  regarded  as
genuine love.

     Love can not be controlled by systematic, scientific,
professional,   religious,   mystical,   or  institutional
efforts.  God as Love yields to no effort to be in control
of Love.  Those who pretend to be God's Administrators and
in  control  of  Love  are  false  prophets  who  engender
alienation and evil behavior on the part people who do not
know genuine  love---in  part  because  of  the  confusion
generated by false prophets' manipulative efforts.   Those
who  have  not  known love intimately often try to  be  in
control  of that which they have missed and do  not  know.
Love will not be owned  or controlled.   Love may be given
and received but not owned or controlled.  Love can not be
measured, rationed or horded.  Love which is kept is lost.
Love which is shared is with the giver and receiver still.

     Love  continues  in  relationships  which  are  open,
honest  and  non-manipulative.    Love is  not  owned  and
controlled by individuals (whether personal or corporate).
Love  guides  the  development of  personal  and  communal
integrity through integrative relationships.   Love  works
for  integration rather than for conformity to  idealistic
standards  of behavior.   Love works  for  reconciliation,
conversion,  conversation,  communion,  community,  unity,
integration, integrity and the resolution of conflicts and
dichotomies.  Love does not seek to be in control,  but to
set people free to be true to themselves and each other.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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