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                          %FEAR ONLY DISINTEGRATION 870609

     Most fear is misdirected.   Misdirected fear leads to
disintegration  which  merits genuine  fear.    Fear  only
disintegration.    Fear  not rejection by those  who  lack
integrity,   for  rejection  by  them  is  not  of   great
significance.  It signifies their disintegration, not your
own   disintegration.     You   can  not   control   their
disintegration.    You can accept them into dialogue,   if
they accept you and  do   not   reject  you.    In  mutual
acceptance disintegration is thwarted.

     Fear   mutual   rejection  and   avoid   it   through
acceptance.   If you are accepting toward those who reject
you,    you   thereby  avoid  mutual  rejection  and   the
disintegration of your self;  and offer the possibility of
integrity  to  others.    You  can  not  go  beyond   such
acceptance to  the control of disintegration; it is not in
your power.

     Much that you have been taught to fear does not merit
fear.   Direct  your fear to that which merits fear,   the
disintegration  which fear occasions.   In fear people let
channels of communication break down.  In fear people lose
touch  with  themselves  and  each  other;   not   knowing
themselves or each  other---they fear that which  they  do
not  know  through  lack of familiarity.   True  knowledge
entails familiarity.  Fear the breakdown of dialogue which
essential to communal integrity;  do not fear rejection by
those  who  can  not  offer  integrity because  they  lack
integrity.

     The  addictive  person seeks to control  through  the
threat  of  rejection of those people who desire not to be
controlled and will not to be controlled.   The  addictive
person  by  threatening  rejection  indicates  a  lack  of
personal  integrity  and  a  lack  of  any  dedication  to
communal  integrity.   Addictive persons and co-dependents
need  to let go of their fear of lack of control,  and  to
accept   the  serenity  which  mutual  acceptance  without
attempts-at- control brings.    They  need  not  fear each
other's  rejection,   for people who have integrity do not
threaten  rejection;   communities  which  have   communal
integrity  do  not  reject their members because of  their
imperfections.

     Fear disintegration, and chose integrative behaviors.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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