This is http://www.essayz.com/a8705051.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONTROL OF APPEARANCES RESPONSIBILITY 870505 People who believe it is important to be in control naturally believe it is important to be in control of appearances. What is most important is the impressions which one makes upon others. Due to the lack of self identity and self esteem it is what others feel and think about you that is important. Insecure controllers thus believe that it is important to be in control of what impresses others. This depends upon one's own conception of what it is that impresses others. One must discover (or control) what it is that impresses others, and then be in control in such a way as to produce the desired impression. Public relations efforts are of ultimate importance; and so experts in public relations are well paid. It is not reality about self which is important. It is what others believe is real which is important. What must be controlled is their beliefs. This is to be done by being in control of appearances. Thus, the correspondence between appearances and reality is not what is important. What is important is the correspondence between what will impress others and the appearances which will achieve that impression. Personal honesty and integrity must be sacrificed in order to achieve the desired impressions, because achieving the desired impressions is the ultimately important achievement. People trapped in the addictive process of an addictive society are thus not in a position to work for personal and communal integrity. People work to achieve appearances under the control of others, in that people work to impress others in terms of the values and ideals which lead others to be impressed. If others' values and ideals are shallow and disintegrative in character, it is in terms of those shallow values and ideals that impressions must be made; and personal and communal integrity are sacrificed to make the necessary impression. It is ironic that people who want to be in control because it is important to be in control end up handing to others the power to choose the music for the dance, and so to set the tone for life. When the emphasis is upon appearances, control is handed to whoever chooses what appearances are desirable. The games of mutual self deception regarding what is important become even more confused. Personal identities become confused and all thinking becomes confused. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================