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  %RENUNCIATION TACIT DISINTEGRATIVE COMMUNICATIONS 870324

     The communications by which collusive games of mutual
self  deception are directed tend  to be tacit;   explicit
communications  would violate the  rule that the rules  of
the game may not be acknowledged.   Part of the process of
transcending collusive games of  mutual self  deception is
the  explicit renunciation of the tacit rules of the  game
which are never given voice.   It is not enough,  however,
to explicitly renounce the tacit rules of the game.  It is
also essential to find  ways  to  not tacitly  affirm  the
rules  of  the game.   Given  the  power  which  is  often
invested  in tacit rules of collusions they may  overwhelm
any explicit renunciation.    Tacit  rules  acquire  their
power  through the  failure  to  explicitly articulate  or
criticize them;  but once they have  power they can not be
robbed  of  their  power by merely  explicitly  renouncing
them.   Through both behavior and communications of verbal
form,  the game needs to be called to a halt.   No attempt
to win the game will avail,  nor will any game of a covert
sort  designed to punish  those who continue to  play  the
game.    It is enough to be charitably honest in word  and
deed about the futility of the game.

     Part   of  the  context,   the  playing  field,   for
collusions  is  the assumption that it is  appropriate  to
exercise  control over other people's desires,   thoughts,
feelings,   actions,  etc.   Such control is essential  in
maintaining  the  games  of mutual  self  deception  which
characterize  so many communities.   We can not  transcend
the games  of  mutual self deception without  transcending
the assumptions  which naturally lead to the initiation of
the playing of the games of mutual self deception.

     Addicts and their co-dependent enablers play games of
mutual  self  deception.   They attach themselves to  each
other in tacit agreements of mutual dependency under which
they desperately need each other because they are not well
grounded in  and honestly facing reality.   Addicts depend
upon: alcohol,  drugs,  tobacco,  coffee, tea, pop,  work,
sex, guns, cannons, missiles,  bombs, atom bombs, hydrogen
bombs,  and all sorts of high technology to compensate for
their lack of self esteem.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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