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           %RESPONSIBILITY FOR JACK'S EMBARRASSMENT 870120

     When   Jack   is  embarrassed  who  is  to  be   held
responsible?

     Embarrassment   occurs   when   a   person's   hidden
unresolved  conflicts are exposed to public  view.    Such
exposure  may be due to the person's own behavior,  or due
to   the  behavior  of  another  person.    Who  is   held
responsible depends more upon who has power, than upon who
has hidden unresolved conflicts.

     Jack  may  be embarrassed by Jill's  mature  behavior
which  gives  evidence  of her having  resolved  conflicts
which lurk in Jack's subconscious.   Jack through superior
power  may hold Jill responsible for Jack's embarrassment;
and  such behavior on the part of Jack  generates  further
repression    of   consciousness   and   further    future
embarrassment to others.   Jill is taught not to behave in
mature ways which expose other people's immaturity.

     The   cycle   of  embarrassment  is  perpetuated   by
respecting  the power of embarrassed people to hold  other
people  responsible  for  the embarrassment of  those  who
exercise  power.   It would promote personal and  communal
integrity  more effectively to help people understand  who
owns the problem of embarrassment;  i.e.,  the persons who
are  embarrassed:    it is they who harbor the  unresolved
conflicts.   Embarrassment is cured by resolving conflicts
harbored in the embarrassed people,  not by punishment for
the behaviors of others who triggered the exposure of  the
hidden unresolved conflicts.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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