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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8612231.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %EGO'S DUTY TO BE IN CONTROL DISCIPLINED 861223 When a society teaches its members that as ego's they have the duty to be in disciplined control of situations around them---the society sows the seeds of its own disintegration. A person can not be in control of genuine dialogue with others, especially if others have the duty to be in control of the dialogue. You are not in control when you listen attentively with receptivity to what another has to say, especially when what another has to say challenges your power to be in control. To be taught that you have the duty always to be in control---is to be taught to avoid open and honest dialogue. A person can not be in control of a genuinely cooperative and democratic project, especially if others also have the same duty to be in control of the cooperative venture. Dictators can not cooperate with each other openly and honestly. A parent can not be totally in control of an adolescent youth who is on the way to being a person who has been taught to be totally in control of her or his own life. Given signals of having a duty to be totally in control, adults and youth have no viable basis for cooperation and dialogue. They can not responsibly "let go" in trust and love. Total control is not possible without totally reliable and complete understanding of all possible decisions, actions and their circumstances. Such total understanding is not possible, so total control is not possible. Self can not be in total control of how self views self reflexively---when self fails to be in total control. Guilt, rejection, excommunication, confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, etc. are not processes which can be totally controlled by disciplined persons. Since it is not possible for people to be totally in control, people need to live in accepted ways of relating without any sense of duty to be totally in control. Responsibility needs to be defined in more integrative and more mutual terms. Disintegration of communities and personalities flows from defining responsibility in terms of achieving control. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================