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                 %SEXUAL VULNERABILITY AND SECURITY 861214

     Meaningful   sexual   relationships   entail   mutual
vulnerability  and  mutual  security.    Unbalanced  power
undermines mutuality as regards vulnerability;  hence,  it
undermines mutuality as regards security---for security is
the freedom to be vulnerable.

     The  powerful  person who seeks to  achieve  security
through superior power thereby sacrifices the  possibility
of  enjoying meaningful security.   When one is trying  to
achieve  security through superior power it is  impossible
to   enjoy  meaningful  security  as  the  freedom  to  be
vulnerable; the two conceptions and hoped for realizations
of security are inconsistent with each other.   To seek to
enjoy  security  one  way undermines  the  possibility  of
meaningfully seeking it according to the other way.

     Meaningful  sexual relationships can not  be  enjoyed
upon  the  basis of unbalanced roles for partners  in  the
relationships:   not on the basis of one seeking  security
through  power  and  the other  seeking  security  through
subordination.    If  one  is  seeking  security   through
invulnerability  and the other is seeking security through
vulnerability  and intimacy the relationship is not  going
to   make  sense.    It  will  be  founded   on   mutually
incompatible   conceptions   of   the   nature   of    the
relationship.   A relationship of compatibility can not be
founded upon conceptual incompatibility.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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