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     %PERSONAL APPRAISAL WITHOUT PERSONAL REJECTION 861208

     Personal  appraisal  entails  informed  and  reasoned
judgments  regarding the character,  quality and  probable
future of personal relationships.

     Personal   appraisal   need   not   entail   personal
rejection; i.e.,    the  rejection  of  opportunities  for
personal dialogue,  not even  when the appraisal indicates
the  presence of alienation,  for Love may be  present  in
even that appraisal.

     Tragically  often people confuse and combine personal
appraisal  with personal rejection;  thinking  incorrectly
that a negative appraisal of necessity implies a  negative
judgment  and personal rejection.   The rejection tends to
do far more damage than any constructive effect that might
come  from  an informed and reasoned appraisal that points
the  way to wiser behavior.   Rejection does not  lead  to
wiser behavior, even if the rejection is predicated by and
justified by  an  informed/reasoned  appraisal of behavior
which does not merit thoughtful respect.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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