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                           %REACTIONS AND RESPONSES 861129

     It  is  helpful to contrast reactions  and responses.
Reactions  are  systematic  objective  actions  which  are
caused  by  external  events.   Responses  are spontaneous
subjective communications elicited by others'  being open.
Reactions  may  involve  automatic  emotions.    Responses
involve higher level emotional communications.

     Reactions are  often  the  result  of  manipulations.
Responses  are  inhibited  by  manipulations.    Emotional
fulfillment involves  mutual  responses,   not  reciprocal
reactions.

     It is not always obvious to participants whether they
are  responding  or reacting to each other.   Many do  not
know  of the possibility of relationships at the level  of
mutual responses.   They have only experienced life on the
reactive level.   They  are  not  familiar with responsive
individuals,   only  with  reactive  people.   Absent that
familiarity  they have no role-models to guide  them  into
mutual  awareness  and  understanding  at  the  level   of
spontaneous, un-calculating, reflexive responses. They are
the lonely people,  lost in the lonely crowd, with  no one
truly near to them.  Their  objective and subjective lives
are  not  congruent.   They lack integrity  and  so  their
behavior  lacks  integrity.   They are  violent  in  their
frustrated alienation.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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