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                          %ACTS OF LOVE OBJECTIVITY 860805

     Acts  of  love  are  not systematic  according  to  a
calculated  program.   They do not conform to any  set  of
prescriptions  which  can  be  accurately  articulated  in
advance.  The promptings of love can not be prescribed. In
a sense they can not be fully described,  even though they
can be pointed to with admiration.

     The  acts  of  love are not coercive.   They  do  not
engender    rebellion,      resistance,  defensiveness  or
resentment.    The acts of love promote    mutuality   and
understanding in relationships where vulnerability is safe
and  mutual.   Love facilitates intimacy.   Love leads  to
security without defensive maneuvers or technologies.

     Love does not elicit guilt from those who have failed
to conform to expectations, because it is not a systematic
program  of  behavior according to a  calculated  program.
Love does not  promote  expectations  of conformity to any
set of prescriptions which  can  be articulated accurately
in  advance.    Love  promotes both personal and  communal
integrity;    not   personal   conformity   to    communal
expectations,   nor communal conformity to the dictates of
the powerful few.

     Love, thus, does not focus upon any system of moral o
ethical   prescriptions  regarding  proper  behavior   for
specified  situations.   Love does not promote  a sense of
guilt (self-rejection)  for  failure to conform to such  a
moral or ethical system of situational prescriptions. Love
does  not  prompt  people to reject  others  who  fail  to
conform to  such  a system,  no matter how good the system
may be.

     Love does  not  call upon  one  person  to behave  in
similar  situations.    Love  does  not  prompt  conformal
behavior.

     Acts  of love are not essentially objective acts  and
can  not  be  adequately  described  in their  essence  as
objective acts.  Objective descriptions do not capture the
essence of acts of love, and can not prescribe essentially
loving acts.   Acts of love are not  really acts  of  love
apart from the relationships among the participants in the
acts of love.   Those who are not participants in the acts
of love can not know the essence of the actions,  thus can
not describe their essence objectively.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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